What a Japanese Funeral is Really Like

Post author:michelle
Post published:30/04/2026
Post category:Culture & Experiences
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If you ever attend a Japanese Funeral..

Last week, my aunt passed away, and through her funeral I was reminded of how uniquely Japanese these ceremonies are—quiet, structured, and filled with small acts of love. I hope it might help visitors understand what a Japanese funeral feels like.

1.The Final Farewell
My aunt loved the Yomiuri Giants, so we placed her favorite Giants plush toy inside the coffin. She had also been a calligraphy teacher for many years, so we added special piece of her calligraphy she wrote. The paper with Kanji was a Buddhist sutra) that I wrote for her. One by one, relatives and friends placed flowers on top, whispering their final goodbyes.

Because most funerals in Japan end with cremation, we traveled together in the hearse to the crematorium. Her coffin was placed into a small chamber to be cremated, and while we waited, the relatives gathered in a room. We had a cup of tea, talked about her childhood stories, and caught up on recent events. It struck me that we rarely meet except on occasions like this, and the time together felt unexpectedly precious.

If you ever have the chance to attend a Japanese funeral, I hope you will go. You don’t need prayer beads; simply putting your hands together is enough. You don’t need formal mourning clothes; anything dark and modest is acceptable.
Whether it’s the wake (otsuya) or the funeral (sōgi), attending even briefly and offering incense means more to the family than you might imagine. They will truly appreciate your presence.
And if you join the meal after the ceremony, please remember never to say “cheers” (kanpai) — it’s considered inappropriate at a funeral.** When greeting the family, the proper phrase is “Goshūshōsama deshita,” which expresses your condolences in a respectful way.

michelle

Hi, I’m Michell from Nagoya—a friendly city with great food and hidden charm. I enjoy sharing everyday Japanese culture, from seasonal beauty and kimono walks to cozy cafés and home-style meals.